Never Clever

Weird Spam Blog

Tom — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 20:13:46 +0000

I’ll admit to Googling around when doing NYT crosswords when something tickles my head. Today I was trying to remember the spelling of the sequel to Shogun (I was way off; only had the T right). The top Google hit for “shogun sequel” is currently this blog post, which has the text of a bunch of today’s crossword clues in it. Clicking on the video got me an ActiveX error on a Mac, but the page tried to force a .dmg download. Class.

A Confession

Tom — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:32:39 +0000

I bought GTA IV, played it for a week and then stopped. Some of it is Rock Band’s fault, but mainly the game doesn’t do it for me anymore. GTA III was an amazing experience. Vice City was more of the same fun. By San Andreas, it just feels like work: go here, get this, do that, drive around. Even driving around looking for new stuff doesn’t thrill me. I bought the most recent copy hoping all the glowing reviews reflected something new. Junot Diaz sums it up for the WSJ:

GTA III was the tipping point: Everything else after was, no matter how awesome, just another better brighter, smoother version of the same . . . What else is the new GTA not? Well, despite all the critical adulation over GTA IV’s characters and purported subtlety, this isn’t a game that is nuanced or subtle.

If you like the article even just a tiny bit, I heartily recommend Diaz’s The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. And it’s nice to think of the WSJ copyeditors having to ok the article’s language as is.

Getting Ready for the iPhone 2.0

Tom — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:28:36 +0000

First Mike Lowell steals a cellphone, now this:

Nick Cafardo

Tom — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:21:51 +0000

For a senior writer at the Globe, you sure manage to anchor the Bell Curve on the weekly notes columns. Scattered amongst the feel-good crap about players he likes and the baseless trade rumors, he managed to throw in a testable hypothesis: “[Pat] Burrell always has been overpaid - he’s making $14 million this season in the final year of his contract - but has hit at least 20 homers in each of the last eight years”. Not sure what 20 homers means; it’s a pretty context-free observation. Burrell’s OPS+ and salary from 2005 to present:

128, $7,250,000
122, $9,750,000
127, $13,250,000
155, $14,250,000

So he’s been 20% better than league average (admittedly, that includes hitters at all positions, which is a bit deceptive, especially in the NL) and is now 50% better than average and he’s “overpaid”. I think there are better ways to spend $14 million in MLB salary money, but it’s the last year of a back-loaded contract. Burrell doesn’t quite make the top 25 salaries for 2008 and, looking at that list, there are worse ways to be spending that money. I don’t remember what Burrell’s misdeed was that made him a Bad Guy for out-of-town sportswriters, but I think the Globe could find better uses for their ink budget. Cafardo’s always been overpaid.

Dearest Gmail,

Tom — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:21:25 +0000

If you continue to swallow important information from clients inside your fancy “- Show Quoted Text -” block, we aren’t going to be friends much longer. I love how you overcome my scatterbrained nature, but when you cost me money that means I can pay for something else to watch over my shoulder.

Celtics Win + I Am An Idiot

Tom — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:30:55 +0000

But you knew that. One of the nice things about the Internet is the rise of what Charlie Stross calls the “lifelog”, a searchable list of everything you ever thought and did, a permanent Friend Feed. I mention this because I was so damned right about the Celtics trade for Kevin Garnett.

“Weird, I don’t really like it from the Celtics’ perspective . . . Can’t see the Celtics signing anyone for about 10 years . . . I’m done with Danny Ainge. This off-season has made it clear the Celtics’ interest is in competing for entertainment dollars, not championships.”

Stunningly, this isn’t the dumbest thing I’ve ever said on Sportsfilter. That would be this:

“Roberts has a .335 career OBP; he’s a leadoff hitter like Tony Womack’s a leadoff hitter. I’m not down on the guy before he’s played an inning, but no one needs a pinch runner.”

Mancrush: Woz

Tom — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:30:58 +0000

Man I love Steve Wozniak. Kathy Griffin lost me somewhere around her millionth plastic surgery when it became hard to look at her.

Terry Francona: Fashion Critic

Tom — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 12:20:50 +0000

“I can’t believe that ball didn’t take one look at [Orsillo’s] sport coat and take a right turn.”

Google Android Demo

Tom — Thu, 29 May 2008 19:02:04 +0000

Quick demo of Google’s new operating system for phones, shot by someone from the Alice Clancy School of Cinematography (i.e., you will get motion sickness). With the exception of the compass mode at the end, there’s nothing jaw-dropping. What is cool is how quickly the iPhone interface has gone from out-of-this-world amazing to an expected baseline of functionality (at least I’d like to think so, Sprint).

Lone Watergunmen

Tom — Wed, 28 May 2008 18:39:36 +0000

I have a theory. A rather dangerous theory. I believe Numbers Stations (the whole Yankee Hotel Foxtrot thing) are a blind to hide how governments really do secret communication. Archie & Jughead Double Digests in the grocery store. Have you ever seen anyone buy those things? Anything else that doesn’t sell by the truckload gets yanked from the impulse buy section in seconds.

I’m the only person I know who’s picked them up; once to see if they had somehow improved so much over the inanity even my ten year-old self couldn’t stand and the second time because the first time annoyed Michelle so well. The clerk didn’t say anything either time, but those bitches are well-trained to maintain their mask of utter disinterest. A couple of flash mobs to clean out the stock at Shaws, and the world would be plunged into chaos.